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108
between two primes
Joined: 16 Dec 2004
Posts: 711
Location: tokyo
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 Posted: Friday, January 18th 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: The world's full of Beauty, Sir, and I am yet a Man! |
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Sushi K
rockfucker
Joined: 28 Feb 2006
Posts: 182
Location: The dark corners of a round mind
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| Posted: Saturday, January 19th 2008 9:25 am Post subject: |
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Yes?
That is certainty poetry, and it rhymes no less!
Unfortunetely poetry is entirely subjective; so I'm sure this means something to someone.
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crispyambulance
Joined: 20 Oct 2006
Posts: 9
Location: SEX
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| Posted: Saturday, January 26th 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| I think this is a pretty slick poem, yet the redundancy of the "hook" I found slightly ungainly and a little grating. Maybe you can cut either the ones beginning each stanza or the ones ending each stanza? (With either, it seems like the effect would be [at least nearly] the same, for, when read, between each stanza would be the line somewhere, etc). |
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CubaLibre
worthless piece of shit
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 334
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| Posted: Thursday, January 31st 2008 5:07 am Post subject: |
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Brandon Parker is the original Tycho Brahe
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